The waiting game-My Story - Repurpose Life

“It takes time.” “Every brain injury is different.” “No two brain injuries are the same.” These are phrases I heard over and over again and again. If there was a resounding theme to the first year following Corey’s accident, it was these three phrases. At first it was maybe a little encouraging. But after a while it became code for…”we really have nothing to tell you, we just have to wait and see.” And that was very hard to swallow sometimes. Because I couldn’t go to other scenarios of similar accidents and compare Corey to them. I had to literally–wait.

But isn’t that where God has us throughout life? Waiting. As humans we hate to wait. We want the answers now. I wanted to see the future and know how long this waiting game was going to be played out. Hindsight is always 20/20 though. Because I see now how He was refining me and drawing me to lean and trust fully in Him. I really had no other choice. He was the only place I could go to find peace and rest.

July 13, 2011:

Dr. Young (Neurosurgeon) just took out your ICP tube. (ICP tube is just that…a tube that goes inside the head and monitors the pressure on the brain–intracranial pressure). This is another step in the right direction. The doctors obviously feel that your pressure is stable enough to take this out. Praise God!!

It’s so good to see your smile again! I hope it’s real. I hope you recognize me–that’s a big fear of mine.:( But the nurses all say you are doing great.

You may have a little pneumonia on your left side. But they’re not overly concerned–said they’ll treat it with antibiotic. We’re waiting on the chest x-ray now.

They just put in a feeding tube through your nose. You were unable to keep food in your stomach, so they’re going this route til they’re ready to try again. It probably looks worse than it is….But it looks SO uncomfortable.

You are doing well. I know it’s a long road. I have to keep telling myself that when I become anxious and worried….which is often.

The speech therapist (ST) just came in to evaluate you. She placed you at a Level 3 on a scale of 1-10…ouch!!! She determined you are not yet ready for the swallow test. (A swallow test is where they give you a little food and water with barium in it to see where it’s going–lungs or stomach).

You took in a lot of water at the time of your accident. It’s a miracle you didn’t drown. So, in these kinds of cases, it’s very common for food and water to go to the lungs instead of the stomach. She did give you a little water and applesauce which you swallowed with no problem. Baby steps.

Then she had you do some exercises…

**Follow her pen with your eyes–you passed.

**Hold up a specified number of fingers on command–Passed on all except 4 fingers.

**She held up 2 objects in front of you and told you which one to grab–She told you to grab the spoon. The watch was closest so that’s the one you grabbed.

**Told you to give her five (hand slap)–which you kind of did.

**Drink out of a straw–unable to

When she asked you to shake her hand and you hesitated with a confused look on your face, it really got to me. You shake clients hands all day long without even thinking about it! Oh my, it seems we have so far to go.

Overall, it seemed discouraging to me…to be honest. But she was encouraging in telling me the brain can heal itself with time and as swelling goes down. Also as brain cells reproduce. She said with a brain injury, brain cells are killed but they regenerate. It just takes time. I have a feeling I’m going to grow tired of that phrase–I’m hearing it all the time now.

On a happy note…I showed you my wedding ring today and you smiled and seemed to understand. Then you looked at your hand. I assumed you were looking for your ring. I showed it to you on my right middle finger and explained that I’m holding it for you till you can wear it. You smiled again and so did I. 🙂